Break Every Chain

No matter what is happening in my life, I always want more.

Had I known everything that would happen between the end of high school and the end of college, I would have been both shocked and filled with gratitude.

I would not have believed the good I've experienced, the amazing people I've met, the lessons I've learned, the hardships I've been blessed with, and throughout everything, how God has strengthened my belief in Him.

I am completely different than the person that walked out of Vernon Hills High School in 2004. Never mind what anyone else thinks...I would have been amazed to see myself today.

But today, now that I'm here, it's not enough.

Let me just be brutally honest with you (whoever you may be). There is a different me in my mind. The person that I want to be. This is probably the first time I've written this down, but it's generally always floating around in my head, clogging my consciousness.

So here we go, real talk, brutally honest.

The other/better me would...

- have a full time job, instead of 18 part-time ones
- have moved out right after college and not live in the suburbs
- have a naturally better singing voice that didn't take any work to achieve
- be really good at some random, unknown of entrepreneurial skill and have lots of money saved
- be confident completely whoever he is talking to, regardless of how much more awesome than me he or she may be
- be significantly less single
- never be stressed, and able to get everything done all the time without getting stressed
- have whiter teeth and hair that is not turning white (it is...)

I want more than what I have, and it bothers me. Sometimes a whole lot.

Then the other day, I read this in the Bible.

"Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of man."

Ouch... that is me. If had all those things I wanted, wouldn't I just have a new list of things? As long as I'm looking for satisfaction in the specifics of what I'm surrounded by, won't I always want more?

I think, that this proverb is in the Bible for my benefit. I can't think of anything that messes up my life more than wanting it to look differently. I think the other me is not really another me at all. I think it is Satan. I think it is a voice that has a single purpose, and that purpose is my destruction. It is a stomach that is hungry for my joy. It is hands holding chains trying to put me in them.

But then I read a verse like that, or have a real good conversation with some who cares about me, or just sit and open my heart up to God's love.

And then...

I always realize the same thing.

Joy has literally nothing to do with how picture perfect or not my life is. It has nothing to do with achieving my goals. It has nothing to do with whether I'm dating or alone. It has nothing to do with what some other person thinks about me.

The present moment is all we ever have. And in the present moment, I can always say, "God is good". In the present moment, I can always say, "God loves me". In the present moment I can always look to the grace of Jesus... extended to me. What is more important than that? What could ever make me more satisfied? What could ever give me more joy? What could bring me more peace?

And then, just like that, the voice is gone. God is moved back into the position of importance that he desires to be, because of his great love for me, the position that I need to go through life letting Him have.

I think this is a lesson I will need to keep learning, and that's ok, because God has grace for me and will let me keep learning it.

Hope this can be an encouragement to you.

- Vince

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mohyR5xowFw